chapter eight

Chapter 8
Morning came quickly for me. It had been as though I took a shortcut from hell back to earth. I opened my eyes, and to my surprise, there was something that had been new to me. It was silence. There was nobody inside the room except me and the light blazing through the white curtains. There were no screams, no disturbances. It was just me and my thoughts.
The acid washed walls were brightly emblazoned by the sunlight. I closed my eyes and opened them again. I wanted to know whether it was a dream or not.
“Chelsea!” Raymond called from downstairs. I got off the bed immediately and without further adieu, I went downstairs. He was at the foot of the staircase smiling.
“what?” I said while dashing down the stairs.
“you wanna go down the lake?” he asked. I rubbed my eyes and made a huge yawn. He seemed excited and new. He looked like the first time I laid eyes on him; like prince charming. Too bad I grew out of it too soon.
“yeah, I’d love that.” I smiled. He took a step down from the stair and went ahead to the car. I went my own way and changed my clothes.
The lake seemed endless and pristine. It was not envious of anything, neither was it disturbed by the traffic a few miles away or by the boat that smashed through the small soft curly waves. It was not hot, it wasn’t cold either. The sky was bright and beaming down at Ray and me. He leaned forward and paddled the boat to the center of the lake.
It was deep, about three times his height. It was clear as crystal. I could see the small baby school of trout underneath our boat; swimming unalarmed by the four eyes looking at them.
“you know, I’m glad we’re here” he said. He gave off a half smile as the light glistened in his eyes.
“same here” I replied shortly.
“so tell me again why you ran away?” he asked. he pulled out his fishing rod and casted it out. It flew about three meters away from the boat. The water rippled away from the near invisible string that was dangling off the long rod.
“I didn’t ran away. I just… needed time to be alone” I replied. I was sitting in the same direction as he was.
“so you didn’t ran away… but you ran away” he said with a short laugh. He was trying to emphasize what I did rather than why I did it.
“if you put it that way.” I paused, and then continued, “yeah. Maybe I did.”
“so why did you do it?” he asked. he reeled in his catch of fish and put it in a bucket right beside his foot. Unsatisfied with its size, he unhooked it and set it free in the water.
“I just needed time to think. That’s all.” I said lightly. He stared at me, unhappy with my answer so he asked “why?”
“I got depressed.” I answered. I was waiting for him to reel in a big fish. He didn’t cast out his line yet, he raised both eyebrows at me and asked again,”why?”
“sigh… if I told you, I’d have to kill you.” I tried to brush off the topic. Still holding his rod, determined to get it out of me, he said, “so shoot me.”
“fine. Everyone thinks I killed this guy from my school.” I started. he asked, “so did you?”
“I didn’t.” I answered. He casted out his line again and waited for me to continue.
“my brother wanted too much from me. My boyfriend dumped me because I didn’t spend time with him so much. He claims to not be appreciated enough. I hit my ex-best friend with a chair but he died for some other reason BUT every one still thinks I did it.” I let out. I was so full of just that.
“sounds like you’re only depressed because your boyfriend was right.” He said. His line shot through the water steadily.
“what made you say that?” I asked. I grabbed the other fishing rod right beside me. There was another bucket beside his left foot, full of bait. I decided to bait my hook and cast it out. He looked like he was having fun, so I joined in.
“you only stressed details on him. The rest were just what others wanted from you. Am I right?” he asked. his eyes fell away from the line and shot right back at me.
“how did you know?” I asked.
“well. Because once upon a time, you and I were almost getting together, that’s why. Then one thing lead to another, megan got pregnant. Then she married Anthony because he was the only one who could threaten anyone to do it his way. She loved me, but I loved you. But I understand now that you and I will only be nothing but friends.” He explained. The wind flew through his perfectly trimmed hair.
“so why did you do it?” I asked. he shook his head and kept quiet.
“have you heard of the saying that we only regret things once their done? And then we turn around and wish we could have done it in another way.” He slowed down.
“how is your life relevant to mine?” I asked annoyingly. I seemed to miss his point; whatever his point was.
“isn’t it clearly relevant how we’re both fishing under the heat of the sun, clearly not getting any fish to take our bait?” he paused. I seemed to know where it was going but I remained indolent.
“we both need to know what we want and what others want. We both have to separate fact from fiction. While i…” he stopped to catch his breath, “need to get over you”.
“how is this relevant to you and me?” I asked. it was getting kind of old how he kept inserting his feelings whenever we were talking about me.
“for as long as I still have feelings for you Chelsea, I won’t be able to fully grow up. I can’t be a father to that child. You know I can’t”.
“alright, let’s talk about something else.” I said. I didn’t like the topic we were in.
“so. Why leave Andrew?” he asked. I lifted my head a bit to think about an answer that wouldn’t lead to another question.
“because he needed to grow up without me for a while.” I answered.
Then suddenly, my line gave a huge tug and I was forced to reel it in. he dove over to me and helped me pull it out. Then almost instantly, a huge silver fish shot out of the water.
It moved violently against the salty air as Raymond and I fervently tried to unhook it. Just as it lost its inspiration to breathe, it stopped moving. He and I were all wet from the splashing of water. he let out a loud laugh.
“you are such a sissy.” He laughed again. pissed off, I pushed him and he fell into the water.
I had the last laugh. Ha ha.