my purpose in life

i was on facebook last night. i know i haven't been exactly the perfect rebel when it comes to online profiles but... it was a very needed thing especially since my two organizations have a profile so i really had to add them for updates. but everything i ever wanted from facebook was just updates, it turned to something very addictive.

yes, i have been trying to conquer my fear of finding what my bad sides are. and facebook has a few quizes to do just that. but lo and behold, it only targets the typical people. it doesn't really tackle any personal issues like periods, emotional stress, depression, mental instability, spiritual stimulation and things like those. it only tackles the self like a programmed disease indicator. just simple psychology.

but continuing to patronize the server, i went on and answered a few quizes mindlessly until i came across a very interesting quis. it's title was "what is your purpose in life?"

i was very much caught off guard. i was excited to view it. not only have i been longing to understand my very essence, but i have been longing to find out why i want to know my essence. i have searched the four corners of the world for an answer. but there it was... just at the tip of my fingers.

deciding to feed my curiosity whether it was something worth while or something just completely bogus, i clicked on it. after a series of situational questions, the result came in. it was one of thos types of answers where it sounds "undoubtedly" the truth. even though i don't believe in absolute certainty, i continued with it, hoping it would answer my long-asked question.

"you are an angel on earth. being around you, people are enlightened by your prescence."

i was completely frustrated. it did not answer "why am i alive?" it just simply answered "what is my purpose?" but then again, that was the entire point i started the quiz anyway.

unbelievable. my purpose in life is to be a blessing to others. i mean, isn't that the most obvious reason of all? we are all born to be a blessing to others. however, recognizing that purpose requires talent; a philosophical explanation of why others can do it and you can't. but then again, if others can do it; let them do it!

so back to my dilemma. i thought about "purpose" as being the "why-ness" of my existence. not some hokus-pokus and voila! but going back to my being as a foundation of the reason of my existence requires alot of philosophical, heideggerian and foucaultian understanding and not to mention a tedious self discovering process. all are which very tiresome... but crucial.

to find our purpose in life is simply the reason why we want others to want us being alive. it is what makes us important or in some cases, feel important. but finding our purpose is dependent on how we were brought up and how we choose our moral values on day to day scenarios. finding our purpose is a choice... it is never mandatory.

people can live without exhausting their purpose and their essence. they can grow old being bitter because they have not fully become what they wanted to be because at that time that they had the chance, they thought it to be of lesser importance. but then again, they have lived their life meaninglessly. therefore, the search for meaning is not demanded. it is a choice. and so is your job, your course, your spouse, your life. the only two things that we never had a say in is our birth, and soon, our death. both things happen without our consent. except of course, suicide. but then again, that last second of being alive makes you realize how much you want to breathe after all. but before you know it, it's just too late.

the prime necessity of life isn't purpose or reason or meaning, it is reasonable choice. the choice to live and keep living is important. but living without meaning is pointless. you are just breathing for the sake of breathing but not breathing because it fills your lungs with oxygen crucial to your very existence and sets off carbon dioxide to feed the trees. and imagine a life lived because you had to, not because you loved it even at it's darkest moments.

our purpose is a choice and so is our interpretation. but that's as far as my mind can articulate.